Nov 2, 2009

The Road less Travelled

I stopped by the passage of time and looking back, I started wondering where did I start, how did I got in here? Where all had I been, while I had been on the way? Was it actually the road, that I wanted to travel or the most retorted one? The less travelled ......oops, I meant the road less travelled. Now that I had set out on this journey, I was wondering where and how far? Just so many questions, kept sinking in and eluding me, day in and out. Somehow, amidst all this upheaval, I was still trying to figure out, if I could be at peace with my inner self even if everything outside is so superficial and distorted. And the only explanation that kept rebounding was, the 'Soul' as by its very make, loves only the deep and the beautiful things, around. It seeks a meaning, to everything happening, everything said and done, everything noticed or expressed, everything that eloped, everything eroded and conserved. Thats why we have often heard people telling that the most intact thing that we as human beings could preserve is our only 'soul'. The one that defies death and birth, and exists beyond it. So, the next thought that I got pre-occupied was, if my soul is contended with what it has been through and what's still lying ahead of it. Somewhere, I had read about a sickness called the 'Sleeping sickness that infects the soul' and I was wondering, if I am infected by one or are there chances, that I am prone to one? I thought, I would sit and go in for a self examination of my soul because, it was something more than vital, to my existence as a part of this universe. This diseased soul state is somehow, a very dangerous illness since, it usually goes unnoticed at the early stages and we keep ignoring, till it has got into the bones and entrapped your soul such that no way seems out. And the only preventive action I have heard of against this disease, is the only realization that the 'Soul' suffers and suffers greatly when we force it to live superficially. When, we are accepting what is not at all acceptable to us. Why do we then ridicule our soul so terribly, to be in a state of pain? But of course, choosing is perhaps the most difficult task, a human being could be put to.

Such was the case, when I was trying to find answers and keep moving on the road less travelled, the road often condemned by many, the road that defies society and its great influence on our lives. I wondered at many instances why could we not, just let our souls, make decisions and choices for us... more so because, at least we will know for sure, we can bear the burnt of it, if it goes wrong and love its fruits too, if it happens as planned. As I kept traveling, I came across faces, I came across beliefs, I learnt about more social dogmas, rituals and way of lives. I was made to believe occasionally that I am completely insane because I have chosen something grossly incompetent and unrealistic. Be it about the people I worked with, I lived with, I travelled across, I shared laughters and sorrows with, or be it the dreams in the making, the dreams I wish to nourish, the little expectations I had out of life, the decisions made and abducted, the abandoned promises and so much more. But every experience I had, I was thinking now on 'Whether it was a blessing for the soul' or 'A burden, I am condemned to be with'. The time was moving at a faster pace and I was still stuck, at the crossroads questioning the basics. May be because, my soul has been so much at unrest and eroded by the many experiences, I have had.

But somehow, I had lately realized, these assumptions were not taking me anywhere. I had to stand for what I believe in and what I had always wanted and aspired for, in personal or professional set ups. I had to let my 'Soul' breathe, I had to allow it some justice so that I do not, end up getting into a gruesome act of murdering my own 'soul'. My most precious thing, my best companion, and my soul mate, which no matter what, was always there to hear me out patiently when no one else would. It was the one that imbibed in me values like integrity and perseverance that have been with me and probably, will be there no matter how far I have travelled or stopped and even when, my knees would have started weakening and my heart would start beating much faster, with a little physical effort that I would have to put in. I had started realizing that this less travelled road was the distance between my external environment and my inner self. The distance between the realization and the acceptance of the truth. I had to but value my 'soul' for what I am and how I survived so far with small conversations, deep within myself. At least, I am experiencing a bit of peace now that I have walked a little further and decided which road to take, the road that takes me to external nuances or the one, that unites me with no one, other than my own soul....that which is the most truthful to me, the soul that never conspires with the external delicacies and fantasies. the soul that values the immortal more than the mortal world. The soul that never departs and keeps in conversation with you, at every step you have taken to your less-travelled-road. I am on my road, and am absolutely at peace with myself because I know, whatever I will do from now on has to be absolutely in sync to the promises I have with my soul. I have yet not set a benchmark or decided where to get to, but I will be fair to myself. I will allow risks and take chances and someday, the road I have set on with my journey, would culminate into the righteous and the best for my inner self, my absolute 'soul'. I wish myself 'Luck' & 'Success' :))

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