Aug 31, 2009

My Angel Is Gone....

Most fondly remembered as 'Dadi' by all the kids and servants at home and 'Daroga ji ki Bahu' by the relatives and friends at and around her place, in Varanasi. She was pretty, versatile and just as awesome, a human being. She was my Grandmother, my beautiful and angelic 'dadi'. Without ever preaching, yelling and questioning, she taught me a lot about life. She made me the person, I am today. It was looking at her that I outgrew boundaries and faiths like religion, caste, creed, masters and servants or even animals for that matter. She showed me the way to love, to love God, our fellow beings and even the pets and strays, around. She just had sooo much to give away, without expecting a bit in return. So pure, so vulnerable and so compassionate her love was that no human, could ever fill in the vacuum, her absence has created today. And to top it all, she had the endurance to take it all and still, keep loving. Occasionally, I would be shocked to look at her and believe, she is only a human like us and dwells, on the same land that we do. Does she really belong in here?

She had something about her presence that would beckon men, kids and women from our neighborhood, to come and see her and listen her, talk. Every word she spoke was so human like yet so compelling to allow you to relate to this world, its nuances and fluctuations. There was always an aura around her which depicted a God like form, engraved in a human body. Standing tall at 5'8'' with a beautifully, stunning skin, long tresses and that elegance with which she used to carry herself, she could steal hearts at any age. Kids and elderly would love to hang around her, alike. Her simplicity, eloquence and phenomenal love for mankind, made her a favorite of all. She could sit and narrate, endless stories of the era when my forefathers would struggle for independence and that too, so beautifully that none of her stories would allow me to detest the British rule that was forced onto us. Her love was so selfless and so pure, to evaluate persona's based of origin, profession, or behavior. She just believed in loving, without any strings attached....such was her soul. The beauty of a lady like her, is so deep seated that ages would pass but her fond memories would always dwell, deep within.

'Krishna', as she was named by her parents....she was actually an epitome of generosity, love, wisdom, purity, benevolence, elegance, humanity, endurance and selflessness. She would always try hard to tie in people together, remove any differences that would ever crop up and make everyone believe in the abundance of love and oneness. She was just one person, no one could escape loving and adoring, completely. Such was her beauty.... and, I know like an angel, she will always keep dwelling in our hearts and loving us with even more intensity. I will yet miss all that we shared with each other. Eating together, chatting forever and then, going to bed together. The stories of her childhood, her youth, her pre and post nuptial experiences and her gradual aging. With all this, comes the endless stories she narrated, the grooming tips she shared with me, her selfless love and the care, she would confer in times of pain and the beliefs she inculcated in me, so effortlessly.

Like an angel, I see her around and I am now glad, she has finally united with the Almighty, the God....she was so very resembling to. I love you dadi... and I'll miss you badly, every moment when I have things I could only share with you and especially, when I'm looking at someone to oil my hair. You were and would always be sooo adorable, like a soul mate to me. Rest in peace and keep you always did.

Aug 21, 2009

He asked what does "Special" mean?

Do you really don't know what does special mean?
Have you never read about the king and the queen?

Probably, you lack the vision to look beyond their riches
You tend to ignore, the truth underlying these glitches

The unshakable faith, a person can offer you
The love and the concern that's always through

All the unspoken words that you just don't care to listen
The Hearts & Souls, which to you, have always been alien

The gesture and glimpse that comes by and goes
And you are still wanting to look at your friends & foes

The nights when you are swept away by the thoughts of everyone
But the only person who is watching over, and is yet not in...

The lilacs, the peaches, the pinks and the hues
That captivate you sooo that you ignore my blues

The numerous damsels that you keep searching for
And look back at me, when they don't treat you similar

The ignorance and oblivion that you confer on me
And when you need what you seek, you reach out to me

Every day and night, you have to make the choice
And you expect me to follow in, without raising my voice

The voice that never reaches your auricle
And when it does, you drop it to a circle

How long back have I told ya, I always needed a partner..
Not in bed or parties, but one who spots me in every corner

Someone, who dreams of a life, a life with 'ME'
Not the life with just any girl, whosoever it be...

I don't want to be a dish or just any meal
I am a human and I need to feel my appeal

I need it real, in bone and flesh
Not just surreal that seems obsessed

I need to know this and be sure of, my stand
I can't be the doormat, you can wipe off & land

I see myself, being the primary and important,
The way I see you, always apparent and abundant

Do you visualize me, doing a specific function? Has it got any scope?
Or you see me only, as a mother to your kids? Is that the only other hope?

Would you let me, have the slightest idea, of what I'm in for?
Would it be the warmth of your love or would it all end in clamor?

You need to realize, I can't go on forever, like this...
You can't leave me in troubled waters and go out, to fish....

And stop putting me to your driver, your friends, the servants and your cash
Or else, I shouldn't mind getting along with them, yet better than your trash

Oh, let me tell you...I need to sneak out of this
This is not my destiny cuz I'm in search of bliss

But before, I leave, I have a short tale for you
Just hear me out for once and you'll know the truth

The tale of a guy who was sooo crazy in love
That he would wake up every morning, and look above
To thank the god, for the love of his life
His soul mate, his pride, his life, his wife
His world would start and end on this girl
He couldn't look beyond & would keep her, like a pearl
He could sense her agony, he could sense her pain
He could connect with her emotionally & ascertain
He would be there, the moment she thought of or needed him
He could fly down any day, even when her hope was as thin
He would take her by surprises and wait for her, every bit
His sad face would brighten up and his eyes would lit
He would stand by her, without being asked for
He would adore her, befriend her and walk along
He couldn't dream of ever, taking her for a ride
Not that she was the master, yet he would always abide
He was not a prince, neither a dream
He was as true and alive, up-til brim

Love is when you can do everything together,
And you know no one can do it better than you two

Aug 20, 2009

Is Beauty really skin deeep?

I know most would answer the question with a crisp 'YES' but when it comes to really identifying the most beautiful, its always on the skin. We look at the peaches and roses complexion, the oh-so-vow fairer skin or the flawless bronzed beauty, or may be yet the dusky damsel. Have we ever dared to remove these superficial epidermal layers, and look at something further beneath and deep within? I wonder, why don't we have the nerves to unmask the real beauty.

The dilemma that we are dealing with here is, 'If beauty is really skin deep, why do we tend to get so superficial'? and the answer is yet not known to most of us. Better said than done, is what most of us believe in and live with. It has always been easier to compliment someone on the looks than on the personality as a whole. I can hardly recall encounters when someone has really bothered to compliment me for my thoughts, my feelings, my heart and my soul until recently. Yet the fact remains, out of the 1000 compliments you receive everyday, most tend to start and end on your skin, from your eyes to your smile, your complexion, may be your skin tone, your facial features, your cheekbones, your hair, your sense of style or the fabric you are adorned with. Are we really talking about the ideal beauty? The beauty that could inspire to create and procreate, and not degenerate and dissipate.

Beauty in real sense should be an experience, rather than the mere perception which is more often than not, fake and ephemeral. The real beauty should be meaningful and sustainable which is only realistic, if its skin deep. A radiant heart clings to you, even though the skin tone might be, a bit on the dull side. Likewise, your soul mate recognizes you by mere emotional vibes and feelings that keep brimming but are rarely expressed. That's the ideal beauty that always seeks its true compatriot and gets seated, in its soul forever. After reading Brida, I really got to the state where the way this world defines beauty sounds so vague and commercialized. It lets you connect with people and persona's on an emotional and behavioral level, instead of the outer cover, the sheath that is not so permanent and rather cosmetic. It enables you to connect perennially with people around, through thoughts, beliefs, expressions, reasons and virtues. You love someone's company because you can sense your own reflection in him/her or else, every word they speak makes complete sense to you and stirs your heart and soul. It just takes you to a different world, on an emotional or spiritual high without ecstasy, cocaine or marijuana. That's the real beauty, the beauty of thoughts, the beauty of expressions, the beauty of emotions and simplicity.The beauty that lingers on..............

'Cinderella' was beautiful not because she lived in a fairytale, but because her soul was as illuminated in spite of all the atrocities she had been subjected to by her step sisters and her wicked step mother. Her heart still had the warmth that could charm the prince and captivate him, forever. Likewise, 'Rapunzel' who in her loneliness could be as melodious to capture a passer by's attention and make him come, back and again, just to be able to catch a glimpse of the owner of this beautiful voice that kept haunting him. Or for that matter, 'Snow White' who lay poisoned and dead in a glass coffin for days till her prince discovered her and could be as radiant as any living princess.

The real beauty would always prevail, since it lies deep within and as such is never maligned and soiled, by external agents. Its pure, its real and would always continue to be skin deep. Qualities like kindness, sensitivity, tenderness, compassion, creativity and intelligence have been desirable, since antiquity and they would always be for real people who visualize beauty as a continuous phenomenon. Real beauty sparkles with all its luminosity, with all its truth and brings upon the beholder, the real charm that aging can't fade, nor cosmetology can rejuvenate. Lets pledge to be beautiful, skin deep and soul wide!!!

Aug 5, 2009

While you're away..............

The night is damp and I'm feeling the cramps
The cramps of distance, separation and loneliness
I look up at the sky and the countless stars
And I wonder, if you are there hiding away on 'Mars'?

The crimson clouds that hailed this evening
Have lately turned all dark and saddening
And for a while, I am questioning -
Where is my charmer?
Where is my calmer?
Where is that season?
Where are the reasons?

Aaah....I have waited for long
With my heartbeats, bit prolonged
And I am singing the parting song
Oh...come back or take me along

I keep trying to sketch your face
Hoping, I'll get to feel your embrace
But the markers, don't let me get it right
The tears keep rolling and wipe it, outright
And I see you, just getting out of my sight
My love, can you also feel my plight, tonight?

I can't reach you this moment,
No matter how much I miss....
The sun has set for good and
And I crave for a bit of bliss
To hold onto until tomorrow,
And live on the same hope again...
The hope of reaching out to you
Before my summer gets cold and
The winters refuse to unfold.

Aug 1, 2009


Ye zillat, ye furqat, ye gurbat, ye tauhmat
Ye jurrat ka ehsaas aur woh har ek alfaaz...
Aur tumhara saath nahin,
Har raat ek ye baat nahin,
Ab aur khamoshi ki jubaan nahin
Aur ye yakeen ke intehaan nahin

Bas main aur mera dil hi sahi,
Har roz, ab aur besabra nahin...
Kahin sukoon se basar to kar lenge
Humsafar, shayad aur bhi milengey

Har pal mein kabhi talash, kabhi aas, aur ek pyaas mili....
Ek umra si nikal gayi ho mano, aur ab bhi hain haalat wahi

Aur kitne sitam sahoon, ki aur aadat nahin
Mujhe ishq ka aasra tha, par ab aur himmat nahin
Mera kaafila, ek shama bhi roshan kar legi
Tere chiraag se jalne ki, aur aarzoo nahin

Main tanha hi aayi thi, ye safar bhi tanha hi teh kar loongi
Deedar pe purdah hai, is kafan ko naqaab samajh ke pehen loongi
Mere saath saath, meri rooh bhi shayad, ab ghaayal ho chuki hai....
Ik shiddat se koshish thi jis chahat ki, ab usse bhi nafrat ho chuki hai

Shayad ibaadat ka farmaan tha, wo tera mujhe jo, har ehsaan tha
Uska janaaza uthaye hoon, bas tujhse ruksat ka aakhiri armaan tha