Jan 28, 2009

None of that is FuNNY to ME!

It's funny how HELLO is always
accompanied with GOODBYE.
It's funny how GOOD Memories
can start to make you CRY.
It's funny how FOREVER
never seems to Really LAST.
It's funny how much you'd LOOSE
if you forgot about your PAST.
It's funny how "FRIENDS" can just
LEAVE you when you're down.
It's funny how when you NEED someone
they're NEVER around.
It's funny how people CHANGE
and think they're so much BETTER.
It's funny how many LIES
can be packed in one "LOVE LETTER".
It's funny how people FORGIVE
even though they can't FORGET.
It's funny how one 'NIGHT'
can contain so much of REGRET.
It's funny how ironic LIFE turns out to be
but the funniest part of ALL,
is that none of that is FUNNY to ME.

My Prologue to 'What women really want?'

A Wise Woman Kisses, But doesn't LOVE
Listens But doesn't Believe
Leaves Before she is LEFT

"Marilyn Monroe"

The quote is from none other than the 50's sex goddess, the super glamorous Hollywood actor with alluring beauty. Well, the first thought that flashed through my head on reading this was 'If someone as evolved as her, thought on those lines, there surely has to be some meaning to it and there has to be, a relating incident'. The world as always has been marveled at the thought of decoding 'What goes inside a woman's mind?'

And this is how I started on my journey, of trying to look inside me and million other women, like me. Marilyn Monroe's cause was the closest since she was a star icon who worked her way to stardom and glory. What could have been a better starting point? So, I always had the gut feeling that people like her can never be maligned and always speak their mind out. From what her first love revered her as, she was a 'sweet, generous and religious girl'. What could have been that incidence or may be a series of incidences that brought this sweet and simple orphan girl from rugs to riches and later to a mental institution, on account of the psychological problems she had?

She belongs to the era when women were eyed as creatures that need to be cared for and controlled by the men in their lives. Yet she struggled, survived and gave many a men chase for their fortunes.

Somewhere, sometime she said "I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." She knew it clear, how men in 60s thought and perceived women, never more than object of desires to be cared and caged.

She once said "He [Arthur Miller] wouldn't have married me if I had been nothing but a dumb blonde."

Every statement that she made speaks volume about her. Be it cosmetology, relationships, personality, men or her work.

Another wonderful quote from her goes like this "I want to grow old without face lifts. I want to have the courage to be loyal to the face I have made." What could better exemplify a strong persona than having the courage to be loyal, to what you were and would always be.

Another beauty legend from the past who inspires me to think through and shuffle through the layers of sheets that snuggle comfortably around a woman's heart is 'Audrey Hepburn'. She quoted:

I believe in PINK.
I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner.
I believe in kissing, kissing a lot.
I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong.
I believe that HAPPY girls are the PRETTIEST girls.
I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in MIRACLES.

What else could be told of women and what goes inside her head? I strongly believe, women need individuality, respect, equality just like men do and they prefer speaking their heart out, until and unless they fear they could be offending someone, they care for. Women have the will power and strength that can never be shattered, no matter what. She simply wants to be appreciated for what she is and what she wants to be. She needs someone she can confide in and someone who can trust her enough, so as not to even consider cheating or hiding even a simple incident. She is just too simple, to be looked through and thought of. Men just need a heart to get to know her but most of them, end up putting their brains to all the work. She stands like a pillar, tall and strong and always looks at the rosy side of incidences. She is optimistic to the core. She is always pretty in her own way, child like, pristine and pure. That's why its said that "Women are the God's best creation"

Jan 27, 2009

My Passionate Encounter with the 'Paranormal'

The rain came pouring down in soft sheets outside. Tucking my iPod under my T-shirt, I pushed open the door and stepped outside. The rain brushed my face gently, and I set off into the darkness, walking slowly, the music of my iPod filling my head. I don't know why but for some reasons, the darkness of woods and the deserted streets have always intrigued me, to the point that at times - I loose sense of direction and just immerse myself in a solitary walk that ends nowhere. I need to be forced to stop and realize that I have come far, far away and I don't even know my way back home.

Just wanted to pen down one such incident that was intensely intoxicating.....
The earth smelt fresh, and the mud in the distance smelt tempting. Any sight of humans for a while felt devious and yet they didn't stray from their path. Actually, why would they? I inhabit a decently populated city. Suddenly the wind wiped around me, changing direction, and the most tantalizing scent enveloped me. For a while, I was smitten, shuddered and froze. My head turned towards the direction of the wind. I encountered a human, not so very like humans.... I could feel he was most pious creature ever and I couldn't even dare to touch and see. I dreaded soiling him, his aura and the charm. He was thirsty, and more so, impossible to resist. I couldn't help but follow him, just expecting he would walk to me or else wait for me, to join him. He changed path, the direction and within a few minutes he was on the outskirts of a small clearing.

The darkest woods I had ever seen and there was a single human look alike, sitting in the center and all drenched in the rain. I stopped listening to my iPod, rather I had to. I was scared, smitten yet mesmerized. This was too easy..... had to happen. I had lost all self control and I felt possessed. I had been walking behind a man, I had never known. I was chasing a man who was just next to a spell, right before me but not so real. He was seemingly, from a different world. And then he leaped forward to take me. And the next moment, I froze and I was gasping for breath.... but I still couldn't take my eyes off him.

'No' he called softly. 'Why?' I murmured through my clenched lips.
'Stop looking at me like that' he replied turning his face away. But I was taken over, bewitched and lost in his aura.... I could see his lips moving and his eyes speaking but didn't bother to listen. I was captured and insinuated by something, so irrational and disjointed about him. After a while, he gave in to my pervert persistence. He walked over to me and placing his hands, on my cheek leaned over. That was one moment and this is one....

All I remember is that I shuddered and convulsed. Far away in the distance, I heard someone laugh and say, 'You got her scared, after all. She doesn't like you'. And the next moment, I muttered something I didn't think through 'Yes, I'm scared of loosing you'. Such unexplained connection with a stranger and someone, who is so weird to be called a human? I had no answers, I was dumb and speechless. All I know is that I just couldn't afford to miss the last glance of him. I wanted to see him until he disappeared in the woods, exactly the way he had appeared out of nowhere. My heart went crazy. I could see his eyes in the dark. They were glistening black, and his sensuous face was twisted into a snarl. A voice came from behind, barely audible through the rain. My iPod had been thrown across the grass and was now being ruined. A lady clad in pristine white gown, stepped up from behind him, then bent down and rested her palm on my cheek. Her pawn was icy cold and pain racked through my body, although I could sense it wasn't from her. 'She doesn't like you' the girl stated teasingly. For some reason I realized that it was the girl whom I could hear in the distance, a while back and the man knew it too. Just when, I was trying to recollect the series of incidences that happened, I heard him say 'Forgive me maiden, I have to do this'. And the next moment, I felt pain rushing through my body. I spent the next few days in a daze, where all I felt was mind numbing pain. The whole time hot, white raw pain was blasting through my body. I felt like someone had thrown me into a furnace, and all my flesh was slowly being burnt away. The pain eventually faded, and I became aware of my surroundings. I sat up..... I was in a small stone room, that looked very much like a cell. I wondered why did he hurt me when all this while, i couldn't stop admiring his charm and adoring his persona and the aura that cocooned him.

Suddenly the door slammed open and a man strolled in, with two others accomplices. 'So, you're awake then?' he asked me. I nodded, too frightened to speak. His skin was pale and he was utterly enigmatic. Dressed in a long black cloak that made his skin look paler, he started walking towards me. He stood very close to me and knelt down.

He placed his hand on my arm, and stared at me for a long time. Eventually he stood up. 'She seems to remember nothing' he stated, 'Bring her back to her senses'. Then left. Just then, one of his accomplices spoke up 'Let me take care of her'. The other accomplice nodded and left. As he stepped forward, my eyes lost sense of vision. It was him, I recognized him as the one who I had taken a liking to. He brought me to a place above ground, and sighed and turned to me. 'This was the only way to be united with you again, and forever.' he said in a pale voice. 'I had to hurt you to free you from all the misery and pain and keep you sheltered with me, always.' he went on saying and then after taking a deep breath, he took a brief pause and smiled at me. Seems like this was the glance, I had been longing for ever since my eyes caught him in those dark and dreaded woods. His enigma had quadrupled with that soothing smile on his lips and the twinkle in his eyes. I knew he likes me too but when did it all start. Has he been knowing me since ever? Why don't I seem to remember? Pain ripped through my legs and I reached for his forehead. I had to kiss him and tell him that I know, there is something but he needs to take me through all of it, to help me recall everything and accept him, the way he expected.

And the next moment, I pushed him away and ran. I had just looked down at the rain water, filling a hole in that stone cell. I couldn't see any reflections....reflections of me, reflections of him. I remember reading way back that spirits and vampires don't have reflections. They don't form images and can never be captured by lenses. What was it? He leaped after me, catching me before I could get anywhere. I fell into a hole and lay there dazed, as he picked me up and threw me into a small ravine, covering me with leaves. He calmed me and was trying to say something, I could never believe. He meant 'I am free of all the misery and pain and I have a better dwelling place now' and that he will always be around. Didn't that mean that I was dead? I was no longer a part of the human race whom I dreaded at times. The next moment, I closed my eyes to reassure myself that I was not dreaming and I woke up, on my bed covered beneath the sheets with the rain still pouring down but the darkness had disappeared. It was dawn and I could hear the birds chirping, outside my window. I ran to get hold of a mirror and what I saw will always remain a mystery - 'My reflection in the mirror was none other than he, himself'. He smiled with deserted and lonely eyes and said, 'I couldn't see you shattered, so had to be here with you, inside you and always by your side'.

Till date, I just wonder if it was my wandering imagination or else, a dream or may be a nightmare. I have no clues, no cues and no one who was a witness to all that, happened that rainy night. And till date, I am living with the thought that it was just a bygone state of my hyper-imaginative mind! Or it could have been a paranormal incidence that I happened to encounter.